As I continue this study I notice that I feel more confident and comfortable with my ideas. I have found that new ideas pop up more easily for me whether I’m sitting at my desk actively working, exercising, or walking around a museum. Inspiration hits me at various moments throughout the day. Maybe sparked by something I’ve seen or done, or just simply based off a previous idea or visual work I had been working on.
My only anxiety these last few days has stemmed from two areas, others, or those people I might be accountable to or who are able to see the work or my wonderings, and of knowing whether or not an idea or exploration has run its course and needs to be pushed further. In the area of anxiety about others I realize that much of my career and in turn art has been based on my accountability to people around me, teachers, employers, and clients, and that this has propelled and pushed my creativity over the years. There is something to be said about this push from others, it’s necessity in a certain creative industry, and its use as part of my skill set. I also realize it might not be ideal for personal creativity and creative satisfaction in the long run.
For the greatest creative satisfaction, an artist’s work ultimately must come from within, beyond the reach of those around them. The Mama of Dada, Beatrice Wood, often made the comment during lectures to “be true to yourself, whether it’s bad doesn’t matter” (Beatrice Wood Center for the Arts, n.d.), and it’s true, ultimately an artist’s audience will never see their process, good or bad. As Bayles and Orland (1993) suggest, “the only pure communication is between you and your work” (p. 47). Learning to be accountable to ourselves and what matters most to us I think must be a key component to creativity. Learning to let go of other’s expectations must be necessary to successful and satisfying creativity, as well as a certain fearlessness.